NOT RECOMMENDED BY ME! Did that hurt, you don’t want to read anymore. I don’t need that” you think. The truth is you only want something to try and sooth your tormented soul. You know it is not the right thing to do – yet you do it anyway. Listen to your soul. Right now, you have no idea how much hurt there is or how hurt your kids will be. The poor poor children – you think you can shield them from it but you can’t. You just can’t.
Making the decision to leave home with the children is not to be taken lightly. I felt that my marriage was over, my husband wouldn’t come anywhere with the kids and I. The pub was always number 1. It was top priority. I felt like he wouln’t listen to me when it came to business finances. I felt like there was nothing left to go on for. Only now do I realise that the kids just want their mum and dad together because when they are with their father they worry about their mother and when they are with their mother they worry about their father. That is not a good way for a young child to start out their life. It is just so not fair for them. I’m not talking about when lives are in danger and there is abuse occuring here. Children definitely don’t need to live in fear.
Ohh boy. It is hard. It is a hard hard road. I had left my marriage and my home – everything. The affair didn’t work out -surprise surprise. So I ended up by myself. You may think that won’t happen to you but in most cases it does. My guilt ruled my life. I asked God “how am I ever going to be free from this guilt”. Like anything I had to hit rock bottom. He bought me out of it. You see I am forgiven and it is written that you must forgive too – and that means yourself. Of course there is a whole other side to it – you must also repent. That means a 360 degree turn around. So I did.
How could I betray my husband like that! I really didn’t think too much about it at the time – I thought my marriage was over and that was that. I betrayed him! Totally and utterly! This is the road to hell. Don’t open that door. I opened the door and it is still ajar.
On the other hand I have a beautiful baby boy. He is God’s precious child – ordained by God and I am blessed to have the privilege of bringing him up to be a man. A man of God.
The consequence of this is he has a whole other family. Not always a good think I can tell you. Some people can be quite controlling and manipulative. When you are vulnerable you can be dragged further down and you won’t even realise it. Be careful. It is a very spiritual world out there and when you’ve opened that door you WILL see it.
Somebody painted words on the footpath outside my house 5 meters long. My children could have seen it. It said “DEMONIC WHORE” and two other words which I won’t mention. Thank God for amazing neighbours with waterblasters and thank God when Satan strikes, God strikes the cowardly asp down.
That’s what happened to me. Is this normal? No – but it is definitely very spiritual, so you see what can happen when you open the door. The best thing to do is not open it if you were to ask me.
IF you have your eyes open – your heart too, and I pray that you do, you will see what I am saying. It is not a good thing to be on the road that gets hotter and hotter and darker and darker.
Maybe I am more susceptible to it than most but probably not.
My husband accepts and loves my little man. He treats him just like he treated my other kids to a point. What a wonderful man he is. I thank God every day for him because without him I don’t know how I would have coped. And I betrayed him! Isn’t that sad. The one who supported me through a pregnancy that was not his. Yes – thank God for him.
Something to think about huh. Maybe – I know – it won’t happen to you.
Bless your family always